a total stranger one black day

knocked living the hell out of me--

who found forgiveness hard because

my(as it happened)self he was

-but now that fiend and i are such

immortal friends the other's each

*********************************************************

if everything happens that can't be done (and anything's righter than books could plan) the stupidest teacher will almost guess (with a run skip around we go yes) there's nothing as something as one one hasn't a why or because or although (and buds know better than books don't grow) one's anything old being everything new (with a what which around we come who) one's everyanything so so world is a leaf so tree is a bough (and birds sing sweeter than books tell how) so here is away and so your is a my (with a down up around again fly) forever was never till now now i love you and you love me (and books are shutter than books can be) and deep in the high that does nothing but fall (with a shout each around we go all) there's somebody calling who's we we're anything brighter than even the sun (we're everything greater than books might mean) we're everanything more than believe (with a spin leap alive we're alive) we're wonderful one times one I am in love with ee cummings! He is amazing. So amazing that I even got a line from one of his poems tattooed on me!!!!!!!

Sometimes I wonder what could-a been or get into the I-wish-I-was...

I wish I could be more elegant or more in style.

I wish I would have went to college and really took my talents where I'm sure they will never go with no time for college and no time for silly dreams.

I wonder what would my life have become if I didn't make those hard choices I made all those year ago... would I have meet my husband, been a mother, found true-real-this-is-what-people-search-eternities-for kinda LOVE.

Would I have been a mother?

I'd say no to this one. Not because I don't love being a mom, but because I didn't have that powerful love I mentioned before so I probably wouldn't of had any offspring from that not-really-love relationship. Doesn't seem fair to those non-existent babies. Anyway...

I wish I was a better friend, daughter, sister, wife, mother...

Sometimes I feel like I do just the bare bones of the work it takes to maintain those all to precious relationships.

I wish I had the courage to fail.

To leap off the edge knowing I might not make it to the other edge... and be OK with it, either way.

I wonder what I would have become in that past life that I left... more unhappy I'm sure.

What would I have done if the divine wisdom or fate or some magic didn't lead me to my love....

I can say for sure I would have never been truly loved or truly loved anyone.

I don't really know the reason for this post. Just getting a few thoughts out. It all seems so silly when you see it all on a screen staring back at you...

It all seems silly to think of what could have been when I have right now asking for more juice and giving me little kisses that end in a big loud MUAH!

It seems silly to think what I could be when I am loved for what I am.

When the man I love loves me for my perfectly imperfect manners, my loud inelegant rambles and my morning breathe

{well maybe not that last part.}

Sometimes everything seems silly that floats around in my head.

You know whats irritating? Wanting to draw, feeling like at this very moment you could draw anything put in front of you and you would knock it out of the park, and then sitting down with paper ready... and then... no pencil!!!!

That's {IRRITATING}

No phone, bored!

New drawings. Enjoy!

There is something so perfect about this girl... shes my favorite... so far!

The last 2 are one's I did months ago... but here they are for you now!

What I did today...

Hello there....

I feel this alot...

I really miss my grandma lately....

Inspired by Curious Moth

My heavenly teeny tiny work nook!!! I LOVE IT!!

Ok, so I have been away a long time! But like the post before shows I was doing something! And besides drawing I've moved into a new house

And I have a new J-O-B... :/

Life's been a bit... chaotic for me lately. But I have been searching the blog world and discovering new wonderful people and blogs and ideas!!

So I am not completely lost to this world.

I've also made a little craft nook in my room. It's the teenyist tinyist craft space ever made!!! But I LOVE it!!! Maybe I'll post a pic of it later.

So other news... hmmm...

Jacks potty trained!!!! YAY! Emily is not, but thats ok, she's still so little.

Hmm... what else...

Honestly theres nothing going on in my life worth blogging about.... maybe next time.

Busy Bee...

So I haven't been completely lazy!! I've been drawing non-stop... here are some of the drawings... just to prove I was doing SOMETHING while I was away!

So...

Happy 2010 everyone!

Rob and I celebrated the new year by staying home with the kids, my niece and my mom. We helped the kids make they're own pizzas and when the ball dropped I was folding laundry :)

Honestly it was a great night!

I don't really have any resolutions for the new year... right now I'm focusing on finding a house for the family. After that is accomplished maybe I'll try a resolution.

Hope everyone had a great New Year's eve!

Good luck in 2010!

We <3 snow